


Nigel AU: I want something different tonight.

by Lecterism



Category: Charlie Countryman (2013)
Genre: AU, Blood, Cussing, Daddy Kink, F/M, Fluff, Mild Smut, Nigel is a model, Texting, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-08 05:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5485508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lecterism/pseuds/Lecterism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Girl meets Nigel at her workplace. She wants to, but she isn't sure they should get to know each other any further. Nigel has other plans rather than waiting for her call.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had a lot of dilemmas while writing this cause Nigel strikes me as someone who'd foster a toxic relationship and control every single step his partner takes. Nonetheless, I'm not supportive of that -which I tried to make clear by the way I described her.- This is a smoother Nigel. I might have kept some things from him that sound a little "primitive" but I think if I changed everything it wouldn't be Nigel at all.
> 
> I want to stress I tried to write this as a light-hearteard AU. If anything feels wrong, I'll understand and assume my bad.
> 
> With all this said, I hope you enjoy this first part.

“He’s come again.” Clara said with a smile as she left in front of me, on the bar, a whiskey glass she just dried with a cloth. "Jack Daniel's, two ices. Fill it half. That's how he likes it."

"Why don't you serve it yourself? You know his order by heart." I frowned at my coworker, also one of my best friends.

I liked talking back, questioning what I was told to do. It had become a bad habit of mine. Nevertheless, I still did what I was told most of the times. I just liked to moan.

"Got my eyes on someone else tonight." She even left the bottle next to my hand before walking to the other end of the bar.

Someone her age had been hitting on her all night long and she was enjoying pretending she wasn't going to give in at the end of the night. I wasn't too fond of the pub but I did like working with her. She knew how to handle clients, all sorts of clients and usually avoided all confrontations whereas I was the kind of barmaid to loose it quite easily.

_He_ , the  _he_  Clara was referring to didn't look a day under 40 nor day over 42. Blonde, between  _I don't give two damns about my hair_  and  _I actually style it like this cause I know what it does to you_. Smoking hot, he looked like the kind of man any nice girl would try to avoid while secretly dream of at night. That one you wanted to have but knew you  _mustn’t_.

He used to come around one or two nights every three weeks, maybe a month. His pattern seemed to say he was in town due to work, no one knew what kind of work though. Neither Clara nor I knew anything personal, indeed.

It took him less than a minute to make it to the bar, where I was finishing his drink. He was dressed in black and dark gray and wore a silver chain under his shirt. He reclined on the bar, almost invading my space, so I put Jack back in its rightful place using the opportunity to give him my back. It definitely wasn't my dream job but we all need the money, don't we? I wanted things. Needed some of them, things only money could get me.

"It seems as though you were expecting me." He initiated the conversation.

"My partner saw you come through the door. She told me what you like." I smiled briefly. I had nothing against him, at least not yet. I just had a thing for building forts. "Maybe you wanted something different tonight and we just fucked up."

"I want something different tonight."

I couldn't tell where he was from but his accent was stronger than his drink, which I grabbed, willing to put it in the sink. His hand gripped mine before I had the chance. It felt warm, big and tough.

"The drink is fine. Thank you, gorgeous." He stared into my eyes and drew a mischievous smile just before he let go of my hand, actually leaving a caress on it.

He wasn't talking about me. He couldn't be talking about  _wanting_   _me_. Why? Not because I was ugly, simply because he had been there before, numerous times and not once had he noticed me. He wasn't the kind to leave with company every time, although he could. He wasn't either the kind to always leave on his own. Regardless, my heart started pounding in my chest.

"I think you're looking in the wrong corner. The fancy girls are over there." I pointed them out with my head.

It was a group of young regular clients who always dressed like they didn't belong there but in a red carpet. It was probably the result of trying too hard.

He didn't even turn around to look at them despite the fact they wouldn't stop staring at him while dancing along to the music we had playing.

"Don't get me wrong, beautiful, but you don't get to choose what I fancy."

"So this a bet with your friend?" I tried to guess.

"I came alone." He stirred up the drink before having a first sip.

"Oh... Then you maybe forgot your wallet."

He chuckled then tilted his head.

"Your temper doesn't match your height, does it?" His smile widened as he pulled out a cigarette. "Such a strong-tempered little one you are."

_Little what?_ I felt he wasn't talking about my size anymore but just giving me kind of a nickname. I did want to be mad at him but the enemy inside me agreed with him and liked to a great extent the way he had described me. In addition, I was too focused on observing him lighting up his cigarette. The fire from the lighter made his features clearer and I skipped a heartbeat again. I wasn't that sure he wanted me for real but at that point there was no trace of doubt in me I wanted him.

"I don't enjoy being rude but I enjoy way less being played. I don't like the big boys games."

"That's a shame. You look just like someone I'd love to play with and have a little fun. No other big boys, y'know, gorgeous? Just you and me."

He had two sips and I got the feeling he thought he was getting ready for  _it_.

A part of me wanted to keep that conversation going, just like Clara was doing with his guy while serving everyone else I was ignoring thanks to him - whatever his name was. The other part was way too rational and had guided me all along, sparing me trouble but also denying me a lot of good things.

I looked at him for a while only to end up saying no more than:

"I'm working. If I can't help you from behind this bar I'd suggest you go find your fun somewhere else. Some girls over there haven't gotten their eyes off of you." Yes, I was tossing the most beautiful man my eyes had ever seen to someone else. That was my  _rational_  side. "Are you going to let their love go to waste?"

He leaned over the bar just to look at me from a closer distance.

"I thought I made clear you don't get to fucking decide what I want." He wasn't having that much fun with me anymore. His eyes were piercing mine.

I wondered for how much longer was he willing to take my attitude.

"And apparently you don't get to decide either what you get. I'm sorry, I know I work at a pub but, believe it or not, it doesn't make me less of a lady." I added at the end, trying to make it sound less about him.

It was a poor excuse given being a lady didn't have anything to do, but it'd do for him to understand my _no_. Or that's what I thought.

"I'm sure you are." He said after staring at me through the smoke for some long seconds.

He stuck out his wallet -so no, he didn't want me to invite him to the drink.- and held the cigarette between his lips.

"Be also darling and pass me a pen, will you?"

Next thing, that guy was writing down his number on a twenty-dollar bill. Once he was done he winked at me and finished his drink in one gulp.

"Call me." He almost demanded, then turned around and disappeared among the rest of the clients.

I took the bill and stared at it, shaking a leg with nervousness to finally put it in the till as if it was on fire. I didn't know the reason why I practically feared whatever he had to offer. I told myself it was intuition and that I was better off guiding myself by it.  

 

He didn't show up the next night. I dreamed about him nearly every night for the first week. After a second week, the whole thing felt like it had been nothing but a dream.

 

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Clara had started seeing the guy from those two weeks ago. I had told her to leave earlier to meet with him so I was the one closing the pub that night.

Immersed in my thoughts as I was, I flinched when I turned to find  _him_ leaning against the wall outside. I would have sworn he had materialized there in that very moment.

He took a drag on his cigarette, giving me two impressions: first, he was always smoking. Second, he was stubborn and maybe even more than me.

The only sounds we heard for a while were the barks of a dog a street away and the traffic sounds farther away.

"Why haven't you called me, gorgeous?"

I swallowed down and tried to do it in a way he wouldn't notice but he didn't need to look at me. Deep inside I knew he could feel the tension flowing from me. I didn't give him an answer so he went on.

"I was wondering... Maybe your phone was broken." He exhaled the smoke and once it was all out turned his head to look at me.

"It wasn't. I just didn't save your number." I shrugged.

"I beg your pardon, did you say you didn't save my number?" He smiled ironically. "I  _told you_  to call me."

"What part of  _I didn't_..."

I went silent mid-sentence as he impulsively moved away from the wall to invade my personal space the very next second. He took a puff again and then scoffed, causing some of the smoke to come out through his mouth and fall over my lips. He lifted his free hand to reach for my face but I didn't know what he intended so I instinctively closed my eyes until I realized he was only putting a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"You don't have to be scared of me, princess."

"I don't have to trust you either." I noted, willing to be clear with him. "I don't who you are, I don't know what you do for a living, I... don't even know your name."

"My name is Nigel but I can't help but think of other names I'd like you to call me." He hadn't removed his hand from my hair and he was then playing with it.

It was me who scoffed then.

"Are you serious?"

"Gorgeous, I have to tell you that I’m often more serious than you assume." He gave me some extra seconds expecting me to use them to take him that way. "I'm a model. I've done other stuff but that is what I do now. I live in the city but I often have to travel to work with different fashion firms.”

I squinted my eyes at him. It wasn’t like he couldn’t be a model but… really? He looked like a bad guy not like someone who posed to look like one.

“Do you need to see my fucking CV?" He smiled despite the cussing and stared down to my lips while moistening his. Didn’t take him long until he looked up to my eyes again. "What did you think? That I was some fucking gangster? A drug dealer maybe? Hm? Tell me, beautiful. Do you think I go around carrying a gun?"

"I..." Simply didn't know what to say. "Do I have to apologize for not trusting a complete stranger?"

He took his phone out of somewhere I didn't get to see and not much later he shoved in front of my face his actual CV in a pdf format.

"Yes, it seems to me that you have to, gorgeous." He basically asked for it, figuring out when he had to scroll down with his thumb, going by the moves of my sight.

I eventually looked down, feeling embarrassment from standing there actually reading a grown up's CV in order to decide whether to keep knowing each other or not. If this went somewhere, I was definitely omitting this part.

"I'm sorry."

"You know, princess, I might need you to do a little more than just saying  _sorry_." He smoked all over again, without taking his eyes off of me. "What's your name?"

“Jodie.”

“Good, Jodie, you can tell me your name but I’ll stick to calling you princess regardless.” He tilted his head, locked his eyes on mine and I felt weak on my knees.

My legs actually shook for no more than a second.

“You’re stubborn. What do you want from me?” I asked more straightforward than I had initially planned.

Another drag on his cigarette, then he took it out and offered it to me with a gesture of his hand. I shook my head, feeling palpitations at the beginning of my throat. I hadn't felt like that in ages. I wasn't even sure I had ever felt anything good with such intensity before. Wait, was this a good thing?

Nigel was astonishingly beautiful but also looked so rough and that tattoo of an cabaret girl on the left side of his neck didn't help much changing the impression. What kind of guy would get  _that_  and get it  _there_  and ultimately expect you to trust him? He looked more like the kind of man your mother had told you during whole highschool to stay away from once you encountered one.

He dropped and trod on his cigarette end and subsequently took a step forward, which made me back away. One... Two... Three more steps until I stretched my arm and put my hand on his chest to stop him. Part of my palm fell over his clothes and the other half did it over his bare chest. That touch was enough to convey to my digits the fast-paced beating of his heart. Knowing the feeling flowed both ways only increased my eagerness. What if he was nothing like a heartless bastard, indeed? He had come back to see me after two weeks, which gave him more time than he would ever need to find himself someone else. He had come back for me and only showed up once my workday was over. He wanted me and didn't I want him just as much?  _Fuck it_ , I thought to myself.

I took a grip of his clothes and pulled him towards me. I had to stand on tiptoe in order to reach his lips and then I was kissing him hastily. It wasn't until like six seconds later that I realized that he wasn't kissing me back.

"Is this how you apologize for misbehaving, princess?" He muttered, breathing against my mouth when I pulled away to figure out what exactly was going through his crazy mind.

He moved forward again, aiming just to corner me against the door of the pub. I opened my mouth but he grabbed me quickly by the jaw and pressed his index finger against my parted lips. He did it fast but pretty much softly.

"Shhh..." He shushed. "I'm going to show you how daddy forgives."

Before I could frown at the way he referred himself as he had pushed me against the shutter causing a consistent thud. Nigel was all over me. Lips over lips, hands over hands against the door, he was pinning me there and his body kept pressing harder against mine as the kiss started to feel possessive. I couldn't mind less the taste of tobacco in his mouth when the friction of our tongues was pure scorching. I kept telling myself to remember to breathe through my nose cause there was no chance Nigel was stopping there. His hands slipped from my wrists, which I was thankful for as my arms started to feel sore from being held up. Those rough hands initiated their way down my sides until they made it under my shirt, just over my waist. I practically moaned into his mouth at his mere touch and tried my very best to not feel ashamed for it.

"HEY!"

Out of the blue, we got interrupted by some guy who yelled at us -more likely at Nigel- so both of us looked in the direction where the voice had come from.

They were Clara and James, her new acquisition, alternating gazes between Nigel and me.

"Who are you? What are you doing?" James inquired loudly, approaching us.

"Look at this, princess. Superman just fucking arrived on your rescue. I’m Nigel, who the **fuck** are  _you_?"

Nigel drew away from me to confront the other guy but, unlike me, James didn't step back.

"Nigel!" I called out.

He looked at me -I could see something burning in his eyes- then looked again at him the way a lion looks at the prey it's about to jump on. That was exactly what I was dreading. That aggressiveness that I could smell somehow streaming from him.

"We came by to make sure everything was ok." Clara intervened. "Are you ok, Jodie?"

"Yes, she is." Nigel answered for me.

"She asked me." I reminded him.

He drove his gaze into me, irritated as though a kid had just back-talked him.

"Everything is fine." I replied to my friend.

"Are you sure? If he's making you feel uncomfortable you can come with us, don't be silly, Jodie."

"It may look uncomfortable now but it wasn't a minute ago. I'm perfectly fine, Clara. Really. Thanks for checking on me."

She took me by the hand and drove me aside. I sensed Nigel's intention to thwart her so I prevented him from doing so with a fierce look.

"What the hell are you doing with him?!" She tried her best to whisper.

"Just what you saw." I shrugged and scoffed when saw the dumbfounded expression in her face. "Why wouldn't I? I'll be alright, Clara, just go and enjoy your night, I'm a grown up too."

"Do you know anything about him?" She had fought the impulse of insisting but she couldn't help it.

"Yes. His name is Nigel, as you just heard. He's 43, he's been in personal security detail jobs for over nine years, also has experience boxing among other sports and he's a model now."

Clara puckered her brows exaggeratedly.

"I've seen his CV on his damn phone! I was going to leave that out tomorrow when I told you but I'm telling you now cause you won't let me be if I don't. I’m actually the psycho here while he's the one who doesn't know anything about me."

"Whatever... Really. We'll be around." She pulled a face, not entirely convinced after seeing Nigel become nearly violent due just to being questioned by James. "Give me a call if you need anything, ok?"

They left after I finally persuaded her to do so. It was around 2 AM and Nigel was leaning against the shutter once again.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Concern, a friend showing concern."

"Not that, Jodie, but discrediting me. You acted as if the answer I gave your friend wasn't legit, only to tell her the same I told her?" He paused to sigh and calm down. "Why would you fucking do that, gorgeous?"

"Because I have a mouth of my own and I'm going to use it."

We exchanged looks that spoke for us. He was into the controlling game and I was into standing tall. How could both things possibly reconcile?

 


	2. Chapter 2

"That was bold of you, princess. I like a little cheekiness but you've been terribly bold and I'm not happy about that. Listen to me, gorgeous. It works this easy with me: you make me happy, I make you happier."

"Sounds like more than a onenightstand to me." I narrowed my eyes.

His sudden interest in me and the way he had worded it when we met at the pub suggested that was all he was looking for.

"I'm not that much into onenightstands. I'm getting old for that, gorgeous."

Sure...

"But you still seem to be a lot into playing, what if I don't want to get involved any kind of  _game_?"

"Then, princess, you'll never know."

But I did want to know. I had played it safe, had taken each day as it came for just so long. I had missed too many boats. What if I made a change right then and took that one? _Just for the thrill of it._ I ultimately told myself.

“There's this wild _something_ in you that I want all for myself when I see you." He started without losing his charming crazy smile. "So these past two weeks I've been thinking about us quite a lot, gorgeous. We could be together. Neither like the average couple nor just tonight or once every two months. I want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you.”

"I think I’m starting to grasp what you want from me.”

What Nigel was hoping to get from me was an exclusive VIP access that granted him the fun and spared him the inescapable trouble and drama of a relationship.

“Will you give it?”

“It depends.”

He pressed his tongue against the inner side of his cheek. The snippier he started to get, the more I absurdly wanted that sexy bastard. 

“On fucking what?”

He seemed to cuss as much as he breathed so I didn’t mind that.

“Well, I’d suggest this: if you want a princess -and you really want me- you treat me like one."

"That was my plan all along." He scoffed.

"Yeah, great but I have conditions. You can text me at all times if you like, but you don't  _control_  me." I paused to check if he had something to interrupt me with since he was squinting his eyes. He didn't say a word so I cotinued. "Also advanced notice that -if that’s another kink of yours- you can pick your favourites among my clothes if I invite you to. Even get me something you  _really_  want to see me in and I won’t feel offended..."

"Will you wear it for me?" He interrupted both amused and I'd say aroused, once he gave the idea a run through his mind.

"Yes. I'm neither a bore nor a toy. But you don't  _decide_  what I wear on a daily basis. This is how it would work with me, Nigel. You came back for me and this is what I'm offering."

 _Did that actually come out of my mouth?_   I really had to ask myself. Given how much I wanted to sleep with him I even impressed myself by standing  _that_  tall in front of him.

Initially he did nothing but scoff. He really thought he had me, that I was this little doll into 50 shades of Grey willing to let him do whatever he wanted with me. There was more in me than the undeniable desire of letting him do. I didn't mind a sugar daddy or whatever he wanted to be if he wasn’t into dating but I had my conditions too. Nevertheless, he wasn’t extremely older than me and I didn’t want his money. My biggest interest was just  _him_.

"I never said I wanted to decide your clothes for you. But it seems what you're trying to tell me is I will have no saying in the things that concern my darling Jodie. What if I don't want to go by your rules?" He asked.

I smiled at the tables turning. He understood well.

I came up to him, grabbed him by his nape and stared into his eyes for a brief but intense moment. I could see in his avid gaze that my offer hadn't completely dissatisfied him. I left a short-lived moist kiss on his lips and savoured it before actually drawing away. He seemed hypnotized and confused by the diverse ways I would conduct myself in.

"Then, Nigel... That will be my first and last kiss goodnight."

 

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It felt like a sequel; the few lamps that lighted up the pub while I had been working, the darkness of the night in the streets and the dimmed lights at Nigel’s.

He had turned on the music player, we both had removed our shoes and we were dancing closely in the middle of the living room to songs that sounded among the lines of Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir and Arctic Monkeys’ Do I wanna know.

He enjoyed grabbing me by the waist to dance with me, slowly, from behind. He had me with this big stupid smile most of the time -when not giggling- when he whispered a few lyrics in my ear. He would then purposely rub his lips against the most sensitive area, making me wish he'd go and do more than just that. Maybe he wasn’t that rough, maybe he knew when to be rough and when to be gentle and I was perfectly fine with it.

Eventually he made me turn around. I put my arms around his neck and we pressed our foreheads against each other. I could feel the infatuation arise when I looked into his honey eyes, now that I was determined to trust him and give that sudden craziness a chance. I knew I was going to fall hard for that guy and that was something I'd have usually avoided. I hadn’t ever trusted my heart in anyone’s hands. Nonetheless, and for the first time, Nigel made me want to chance it all. I wanted the full experience with him. I had promised myself while we were dancing that I’d immerse entirely into it. That for once, I was going to give my all if things felt right and see what happened. I accepted that I wanted to go through it no matter how it ended. I just wanted to feel alive and Nigel presented himself as the perfect chance for me to live something different.

Soon he was making my lips all wet and red with his, producing little moist noises every time our lips slipped from the other's. He would reclaim my mouth only more hungrily each time, as if that bothered him, that my lips escaped from his. He'd even retain my bottom lip and suck on it until it felt numb. The way he kissed me felt as if he wasn't going to see me again and it was driving me insane. I purposely exposed my neck to him, anticipating the delight from the warm licks and soft bites he provided me with. The atmosphere we had built between gasps, kisses and caresses had become too heated to stand without taking a step further and I was thrilled to take it, in all senses of the word.

He drove his hands down to my butt and squeezed it harder than I was expecting. As if we weren't close enough. Then, even more unexpectedly, I felt a loud slap on it that made me open my eyes wide as I could and gasp. In spite of my reaction, Nigel chose not to look at me. Instead, he grabbed me more consistently to lift me up so I'd wrap my legs around his waist. He had me in the perfect position to lower his face to my cleavage. I started feeling paralized by the overwhelming arousal. I could only respond to that by pulling a little the hair on the back of his head.

"Fuck." I muttered.

"That's  _my_  word, gorgeous. Mind your language when you're fucking with me." That didn't sound exactly like a mere suggestion. "And you better only fuck with me or I swear to you, princess, I'll fuck them up really badly."

We both drew away a little just to exchange appraising gazes.

"I have to tell you this. It's either me and  _just_  me or anyone else  _but_  me." He gasped and made clearer, switching his sight from my eyes to my lips. "Same applies to me with you."

He was pulling out a spoken contract out of nowhere in the very moment I couldn't think the least. Nonetheless, before I could come up with an answer, my body betrayed me and I found myself nodding and retaking the previous point.

"We're not fucking right now so I can cuss. Spare me the lecture."

He probably felt I brought it upon myself by answering like that when he smacked my butt again, harder than the previous time. I bet I turned beet red as this time he was looking right into my eyes as he did it. I wasn't certain how I felt about that but it sure was a tickling feeling I could grow to like.

"But we're going to. I'm gonna take some good care of my princess." He caressed my cheek with the tip of his nose all the way to my ear. "Be a good girl and show me you deserve it, will you?" He whispered. 

"Nigel..."

"Yes, gorgeous?" He looked at me again with this mild smile.

"Don't try to slap me anywhere else, okay? I'm not into that." I spoke softly.

"Neither am I." He seemed surprised that I even suspected he would do such a thing. "We've agreed I'd treat you like a princess. I won't even smack your ass again if you don't want me to. I want nothing but to please my gorgeous girl. Just ask me to stop it."

My silence caused his smile to widen and that made my stomach explode into a million butterflies. Why did I suddenly want to please him so bad? That strong and probably nordic accent, his face chiseled by the Gods, those strong arms holding me ever so tireless, the taste of him in my mouth, his deep interest in me and just every damn thing else... I couldn't resist feeling already addicted to some extent.

 

By the time he laid me down on his bed just so carefully, I had unbuttoned most of his shirt. He finished my work and took it off, throwing it away without bothering to look where it landed. His thick sculpted torso was invaded by salt-and-pepper manly chest hair. The very sight of a shirtless Nigel planted in me the desire of running my fingers for hours through his bare chest. He kneeled in bed way too far for me to fullfil my wish, though. He pulled down my trousers slowly, kissing me down my inner thighs as he exposed my legs. I couldn't help but tremble under his care, the trail of his hands full of visible veins and the warmth from his breath. Probably my jeans fell over his shirt. He layed down over me, embraced my body and I closed my eyes, returning his gesture. I could have died happy in that very moment but it didn't last long. The next second he had turned us around and I was on top of him.

"Sit on my lap, gorgeous. I've been dying for two weeks to see how fucking hot you look on top of me."

I gulped, noticing only after how badly I was coordinating my breath. When I did as Nigel asked me I took my chance to reach for his torso and I felt it with my avid hands as though I couldn't count on my eyes. It was a magnificent thing to watch his skin go up and down as my touch influenced directly on his breathing pattern. It felt so good knowing that I wasn't the only one so intoxicated by the other's doings. It made me want to take my power on him further so I pulled up my shirt before his eyes just to catch a glimpse of them becoming even more lustful. He gave the impression of having waited for that moment for two years more than two weeks. The thought brought a smile back on my lips.

What came after was a surge of loads of rubbing, panting, manly groans, fingers interlocking when not too busy exploring, pressing the right keys. It came to a sweltering point where we had to deal with both our own heat and the other's, hence we couldn't no more. My whole organism was burning under my skin and feeling any part from Nigel's body touch mine only fueled the fire within me -both physically and psychologically.

Nigel was ready to undo my bra and I was curious to know how good he was at it since it was so much trouble for some guys. Nonetheless, his expression changed as he seemed to remember something. I got off of him so he could look inside a drawer which he closed again with a slam denotating frustration.

He asked for a second and left to check some other place in the house to appear back in the door frame in less than a minute.

"Do you have  _protection_  by any chance, gorgeous?" He chuckled but he looked more like he was about to shoot himself.

I shook my head and saw him tilt his with surprise.

"You go around without fucking protection, princess?"

"I don't need it a lot." I confessed all but timidly, changing Nigel's countenance and even mood.

I rolled my eyes at the satisfaction he got from my answer so I didn't see him come before he took my face and pecked my lips strongly but hurriedly.

"I fucking adore you, Jodie." He said with a fond smile and still cupping my face. "Wait for me, I'll go to the store. Be back in ten minutes."

The store was open past 3 AM? And hadn't he just been a little primitive? I was too tired to give any of those matters a proper thought so I just layed down and closed my eyes for a second. I'd find some other moment to discuss sexism and everything else with him.

 

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I opened my eyes into a darker room. I figured out it was probably still the same one but with just a nightstand light on. Then I realized the bed sheets were covering my near nudity. Did I fall asleep?

Nigel was laying on his side next to me, staring closely at me with his head held up by his hand. He was stroking my hair so softly that I doubted that was the reason why I woke up.

I looked over Nigel's shoulder to see the time in the nearest clock. It was 5:17 in the morning.

"Oh, shit. I must have fallen asleep, I'm so sorry." I looked back at him bitting my bottom lip.

"Don't worry, princess. I'm sorry I woke you up." He leaned over me to kiss me in my forehead. "Sleep. You'll need your energy in the morning."

He moved his hand to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I showed my intentions of snuggling up to sleep so he put an arm under me to cling us together. I laid my head down on his shoulder -feeling the chest hair tickle my chin- and smiled as he wrapped me with his strong warm arms. I was going to wake up smelling like him.

 

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I smiled when I perceived Nigel's perfume before I got to open my eyes. Nevertheless, when I opened them I found an empty bed. On his side was nothing but a -rather long- handwritten note he had left for me:

_Good morning, princess. I'm sorry I couldn't wake you up as you deserve. I have a session I completely forgot about. In my defense I'll say you're quite distracting. I'll be back around lunch time. I'll text you later (yes, I managed to get your number). Stay around till I come back if you want to. (Actually fucking stay.) Breakfast on the kitchen counter. I thought you should start getting familiar with it. Don't be too naughty in my absence. I'll know.- N_

I smiled at it and read it a second time.

I wandered around the house first of all, being a little too nosey. Given I found nothing suspicious I went for breakfast and sat on the floor eating croissaints while I played his The Doors vinyls all before taking a shower. I also greeted myself for always bringing a make up kit in my bag that I used afterwards.

I checked his drawers to find the underwear and used a pair of his boxers. I also allowed myself to go through the rest of his clothes to pick something I could wear. My work uniform from last night stunk. 

The more I saw from Nigel, the more anxious I was to see him again. As though he had read my mind I got a text from him. He had also saved his number on my phone... as _Daddy_. I had to laugh at that but then I changed the contact to his actual name before texting back.

**"Is my gorgeous girl awake?"**

I decided I'd have a little fun too.

**"Who are you, creep?"**

I got another message right after.

**"I see besides a great ass you have a great sense of humor."**

**"... are you huge?"**

I teased him on purpose then redacted a second message.

**"Sorry, damn autocorrect, I meant Hugh"**

**"Princess..."** He sent a while after.

**"Ooooh, sorry Nigel"**

**"Who the fuck is Hugh?"**

**"My ex :3"**

Another 15 minutes later...

**"What is :3? Do you still fucking see him? Does he fucking text you?"**

**"Not your fucking business :3- > cute face, you old fuck."**

**"Honestly, Jodie? It is my fucking business now."**

**"I'm just kidding, haven't heard of him in ages. Calm down, Terminator."**

It took another while until he replied to my text.

**"You know daddy owns every inch of you, don't you princess?"**

He really had a daddy kink, right? Well, reading it in his voice really made me wish he was there. So maybe and just maybe he could plant in me the same kink and by now I found it funny. 

**"Yes, daddy. Aren't you supposed to be working?"**

He sent me a pic of a studio with all the paraphernalia to adjust the lightning and all that typical stuff.

**"Are you sure you're not the guy who brings the coffees?"**

15 mins later I got another message from him. It was a picture taken to a computer screen showing several files that appeared to be pictures. I zoomed into them and distinguished Nigel possing shirtless, with wet hair and pretending to be shaving. He had foam on his face and a white towel hanging from his shoulder in some pics. In others he was holding a cigarette -as usual- and there were also some close ups to the bottom half of his face, neck and torso.

Holy shit. I was sitting so I dropped my phone over my legs and facepalmed myself with both hands. Why the hell did I have to fall asleep last night? Although to be honest, last night had been amazing anyway. Way better than any night I could think of.

I was aware Nigel and I were very different but differences are also the first thing we notice. I liked him and I wanted to be with him in whatever way it was. We could negotiate that in the future if what we were having now actually worked. Maybe we could negotiate everything and adjust ourselves to the other, make it a reciprocal thing.

 

Nigel actually showed up before lunch time. As soon as he walked in, he threw his blazer over the couch and lifted me up from it grabbing me by the waist -just like he had done the previous night.

"Hello, gorgeous. I couldn't wait any longer." He smiled an inch away from my lips before he proceeded to devour them and the rest of me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for it taking me ages to post this final (officially final) chapter but you'll see it's a rather long one. There was a lot I felt like telling. I just hope it's worth the wait and that you will enjoy it <3 Further notes at the end.

For over four months Nigel had dropped by the pub nearly every night. He wouldn't do much when he came on his own. When I was too busy to talk, he'd occupy one of the few couches we had there, drink his whiskey and smoke endlessly. Dull, I know, but it seemed to have a soothing effect on him. Sometimes you'd swear he was more like an animal, bound to repeat some rooted behavior patterns to obey his instincts rather than doing it out of enjoyment. Nigel could do more than whiskey and cigarettes but that was what Nigel  _did_  and if he didn't, that wasn't life to him.

Occasionally he'd appear with people of all sorts, some looked stylish and squeamish, some looked made out of bedrock. However, he'd always call it either "work" or "friends" but barely ever introduce us. Sometimes he'd play cards with the friends and less frequently, he'd indulge in bets with someone around the brand new pool table. Whatever he did, he always kept an eye on me. 

Mostly clear? Good, usually he’d just light up another cigarette and wait some more until we closed so we could get home. His or mine didn't matter as both had spots suitable for sex. Something remarkable about Nigel was that, excluding his drinking and smoking habits, he was sort of unpredictable. At times, he'd have an overflowing libido. He'd be  _ready_  even before we got home -just out of anticipation- and give me these arousing looks till we reached the very door. Sometimes we wouldn't even reach the door with all our clothes on.

Yet, in spite of this all, some other times he'd be looking at me with yearning eyes all night long, have me expect the wildest night of my life to arrive home and only want to chit chat a little on the sofa until he fell asleep, fingers tangled deep within my hair. A few times I even had to remove his cigarette from between his fingers to stub it out for him. It wasn't until the second time that I realized he had burn marks suggesting it had happened before while he was on his own. I used to look at Nigel while he slept and make myself questions that I usually didn't dare to make him the next morning. I eventually asked most of them but it took me a little more time and mutual confidence.

It worked differently when someone got too close to me while I was working. He’d appear right beside him, grip his shoulder and whisper in the guy’s ear something I never got to hear.  Some would cringe and turn around immediately. Some would stare at him for brief seconds, apparently trying to figure out if he was serious or just crazy, before muttering “what the fuck” and leave subsequently. He took care of a bunch of fights and simply made sure everything went correctly. Clara and I felt safer, needless to say. But that hadn’t always been the case. Actually, the second time someone had hit on me while Nigel was there, this someone happened to be particularly reckless. That night Nigel proved to be exactly so just as much, if not way more.

_Nigel walked up to the bar and rested his forearms on the surface, right beside my client._

_“You got your drink already, don’t you?” He turned the head to him, seemingly calm._

_He frowned yet lifted his glass right after, showing him he had been served, indeed. I hadn’t seen him before so he probably assumed Nigel was the owner or simply someone designated to assess my performance while on trial._

_“Yeah, everything is fine here.” He winked at me to make sure I’d catch the double meaning of his words, and then topped it with a smirk._

_In most cases, I would have rolled my eyes and make my lack of enthusiasm beyond apparent. However, I_   _chose not to react at all. Simply because Nigel was there, analyzing my every breath and even a sigh would influenciate his next step. It did bother me, being constantly sexualized just because I worked in a place where some people -definitely not me- went in hopes of finding someone to make out with. But I couldn't let_   _that slip in front of Nigel. Someone like him, who would always put you on the edge, needn’t a nudge to push someone any further._

_“I think he likes you.” He chuckled, looking at me for a moment before returning his gaze to the younger with false interest. “Have you attempted to get her number yet? I warn you: She loves playing hard to get.”_

_As he spoke, his smile widened and so did his interlocutor’s, supposing they were buddying up._   _Unless you knew him you couldn’t have ever told that smile meant he wanted to make your skull shatter like fine china on the floor. It wasn't even the smile, it was the context and that guy had no idea he was trying to play with something Nigel considered his. On my part, I_   _was perfectly aware_   _Nigel was probing him just to determine how much of his wrath he was going to inflict on him. Therefore, I tried to stop it before it all wound up exploding in the guy’s face._

_“Your friends probably miss you." I expressed, wishing he'd return with them._

_“I’m sure they don’t.”  He answered._

_“I’m sure they do.” I looked him dead in the eye, hoping he’d feel something_   _in this whole situation was off and decide to follow his instincts, had he any._

_Apparently, he didn’t._

_"You were right, she's stubborn as heck." He mumbled to Nigel. "If you can be stubborn, so can I." He said louder now so I could hear him well. "We'll do this, I'll leave you my number, ok? No pressure, just give us a thought."_

_If I had a penny for every time I had lived that situation..._

_Nigel brought me back to reality._

_"Don't stand still, Jodie, give this determined gentleman a pen. You know the routine, don't you? You've done this all before." He smiled even bigger, expecting me to take part in his fun._

_This other dude, really didn't find any suspicious the way Nigel was trying to help him? Was he that drunk already or just that stupid?_

_"Darling?" Nigel called again. "And please,_   _pass me some of that chewing gum you keep beside the till. My mouth tastes like shit right now." He commented, purposely looking at this boy, still in a fake friendly way._

_I sighed heavily and slapped a piece of paper and pen on the bar, then added the gum. The boy whose name I didn't know -as usual- bent over to write his number. Nigel and I took the chance to exchange gazes. I gave him a look of reproach and he winked at me while -sensually- putting the gum inside his mouth, as impassive to my disapproval as he could be._

_"Done?" Nigel asked him, patting the other man's back and bringing the smile back to his lips. "Make sure you didn't fuck up with the damned numbers." He scoffed while still chewing. "Let me see this..."_

_He leaned too and after he had murmured the first four numbers he put an end to the show. He took the paper on his hand, spat the gum on it and crumbled it right before throwing it to the guy's face._

_“What the hell is wrong with you?”_

_“So fucking much. This one you’re trying to fuck with is my girl.” He leaned against the bar to face him and kind of physically get in the way between him and me (behind his back)._

_“Good for you.” He shrugged but didn’t move._

_“Fucking indeed, child. Now get out.”_

_For the record, he seemed to be of the cocky ones. At that point I was sure he was there, standing Nigel’s gaze, more for the sake of challenging him than due to an extraordinary interest in me._   _He was downright determined to restore his dignity, ignoring a timely retreat would be his only possible victory._

_“In case you haven’t realized, I’m trying to tell you to leave by fair means.” Nigel maintained, quickly losing all patience._

_“I have. I just don’t give a shit what you have to say.” He smiled widely and in that very moment I knew I had seen all of his teeth in their rightful place for the last time._

_There, I hadn’t been wrong. It took Nigel two seconds to wrinkle his nose out of anger and throw his fist right to the younger’s mouth. Just those who were standing close enough were able to hear the sound of bones clashing when the latter was punched. Then everyone else turned around when he landed on the floor, bleeding abundantly. Half were shocked, half were amused. Some actually left before things could get any uglier._

_“What on earth you think you're doing, Nigel?!” I rushed from behind the bar to assist the poor dude but Nigel lifted his palm so I’d stop right there._

_“I’m replenishing his shits, Jodie. Stay out of this.” He gasped ever so calmly as he opened and closed his slightly blotchy hand. “You can’t go around without a fucking care in the world, can you?” He stooped to grab the guy from the neck of his shirt and pick him up from the ground. Blood was still pumping out of his mouth and I realized his bottom lip was split. Impressive loads were dripping from his chin. “Get the fuck out of here before I snap your fucking spine because I fucking will if I have to… GO.”_

That had cost us our first big argument. I had pushed Nigel out of the pub, yelling him to go home. I had told him he could fuck off with his jealousy and savagery. I also said he was doing me absolutely no favor by getting me into trouble like that. That I needed the job and the money way more than I needed him. I imagined he’d cuss me after hearing that but he didn’t. He simply stood looking me in the eyes, from one to the other, as though he had gone speechless. I saw his silence as the perfect moment to go back in, leaving him there.

_“What the fuck are you looking at?” I heard him shout at the people who had witnessed our fight._

We had been together –our own way of together- only for around a month so I thought that had been it. He’d wake up from his fantasy where I’d take whatever he wanted to bring on and I’d just move on with my life.

Nevertheless, Nigel always needed to have the last word. When I arrived home he was waiting there for me, sat on the stairs outside the door.

_He lifted his head and remained silent while I took notice of how much the appearance of his hand had worsened. I sighed and looked away._

_“I told you to go home. Your home, not mine.”_

_He got up and surprisingly, didn’t try to get through to me yet._

_“I ran out of gauze.” He came up with a quick excuse instead so I would let him in._

_“You should get it checked. You could have broken some bone for all we know.” I said as I was running an alcohol-soaked cotton pad over the bruises on his knuckles._

_We were sat at my living room table next to each other._

_Once I had removed the dried blood I realized it was all his as it started bleeding again a little. I wrapped some ice cubes in a clean kitchen cloth and handed it to him._

_“Thank you, gorgeous. It’s been broken before so I know it’s not broken now.” He confessed, displaying a lighthearted smile as he applied the ice. All he clearly wanted was to make it up to me. He didn’t care about my first aid kit or anything I could offer him besides forgiveness. But was he even there to ask for it? He probably thought he had done nothing wrong as he wasn't into admitting. “It has to go like this before it starts getting better.”_

_“And do you?” I alluded to his behavior._

_“Pardon me?” He seemed to not grasp what I was talking about._

_“I may not. Has it occurred to you that I could lose my job if my boss got wind that a guy comes over every night he’s off and acts like he’s my bodyguard, kicking people out the place just because they tried to flirt with me? I have always dealed with this myself. Thank you very much but I’m not a lady in distress. For that matter, I'm not a doe, you're not stag. We're not in heat and we're not mating so refrain from being antagonistic to everyone who approaches me.”_

_“I care what happens to my gorgeous. I care what you go through unnecessarily. I’d rather spare you that, no matter the means.”_

_“Cut the bullshit, Nigel. You acted like an ape because you are jealous and possessive, that’s all.” I slammed the kit shut._

_“Yes, I fucking am. Because I genuinely fucking care about you, princess.” He came closer to my face, looking for my sight, hoping I’d look back._

_I did but full of rage._

_“So what? My boss doesn’t. He cares about his clients coming back and I care about me keeping my job. Saying I really like you is an understatement but I’m not your past time, Nigel, I have a life. It’s way shittier without you but it’s still my life and I have bills to pay as long as I’m living. So if you don’t mind…”_

_Nigel reclined on the chair again. His sight was lost somewhere else. His sealed lips were undergoing micro convulsions as he seemed to be looking for the right words until he simply spat them out:_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_He tightened his jaw as if he had said some forbidden words. Nigel was most likely the kind of person to never pronounce those two unless he was using them sarcastically._

_I didn’t say anything back since I was still reading his body language, taking in the honesty in his words even though he wasn't looking me in the eye. He was unaware I was trying to put myself in his shoes so he began to exasperate over my sudden silence._

_Nigel covered his face with his palm and sighed before he dragged it back down._

_“I said I’m sorry, I don’t know what fucking else do, Jodie. I hate apologizing for the shit I do but I like even less making you feel this way. I don’t want to fucking jeopardize your job, I just want the best for you. Do you understand?_

_“Nigel…” I started, shaking my head._

_“Listen, I am fucking sorry, ok?" Now he was looking at me. He licked his lips with a jot of nervousness as he leaned over to speak closer. "I act like a fool because I am one for you. Because I like you more than fucking Jack Daniel's and all my fucking cigarettes. I love when you smile, I love when you frown, I love when you get bossy, when you’re my helpless little one. I love how serious you take me and also when you don’t take me serious at all. I love it when you say you're not mine and then I fuck you into saying you fucking are. I love when we do it, I love it when we don’t.  I love every minute of it and because of that I could fucking punch every fucking cunt you have for a client. But if that causes you any trouble and you prefer to stay in a job where some guys treat you like you’re there to give them a boner as well as a drink…” He stopped to catch a breath. “If you really want that job I’ll do my best to not fucking punch anyone again. But you know what? I could give you that fucking money, princess and we both would be happier.”_

_It took me quite some time to react to that but I forced myself to do it as quickly as possible, before he could go apeshit again. Finally, I scoffed and started to shake my head all over again, unable to believe having to apologize would turn into such a tragic rant and him into such a drama queen. He was full of shit, right, but I was crazy about him and him opening up about his feelings meant the world to me. Simply because I thought he would be the kind to just deny having any._

_“What the fuck is so funny, Jodie?”_

_I got up from my chair and pointed at his lap with my head._

_“Is that seat taken?”_

_He pressed his lips against each other, staring at me with mixed feelings that lead him to blaspheme under his breath and then beckoned to me._

_I straddled him and twined my fingers into his hair, moving my hand to his nape just to bring him closer. I could smell the dimmed scent of his perfume rising from his head as he used to spill it from the bottle to his hands and then comb his hair back with them. He trapped inside his mouth an audible exhalation expressing tiredness or a feeling akin._

_“You know, Nigel? It was enough the first time you said sorry. It really was cause I know you mean it.” I smiled at the awkward expression that emerged on his face then pressed my index finger over his lips before he could start swearing. “I tried to tell you but you didn’t let me so… Thank you for everything else you’ve said. It was... sweet. I mean, as sweet as it can be when you cuss every three words.” I giggled against his mouth before I could actually snare his lips between mine. Lips molded by such profanities yet so soft and experienced. The taste of smoke on them was stronger than it usually was and I suddenly felt absurdly bad for scolding him, for saying the things I had said. He deserved worse than a rebuke but he had the ability of making me forget easily about his blameworthy acts._

_His arms locked tightly around my waist and my fingertips ran carefully against the almost inexistent stubble covering his jaw. I felt like I was melting into his mouth, tongues grazing each other ever so carefully yet firmly, respectful of a tempo of their own. If it wasn’t for the fact that we were busy kissing I would have told him right then how much I loved when he did it so tenderly. One of my shaken breaths built into a needy noise, that was the exact term for it. It made Nigel pull away a little to regard me with hooded eyes and my bottom lip tightly held between his teeth as his fingers pressed the skin over my hips. The noise became a soft moan by the time he let go, scratching._

_"Don't ever fucking say that again, Princess. Did you hear me? Never fucking again." He muttered. We scrutinized one another's eyes. "Don't fucking say you don't need me and then sit on my lap like nothing happened, moan in my fucking mouth and make me hard like this for you if you don't fucking need me because I fucking might. And I don't ask for fucking favours, gorgeous. If it's not mutual then it's not worth going through all this fucking drama."_

_Yes, suddenly, Nigel was willing to take not only me but the drama as well. He had changed some of his ways and expectations after some time together. Our first weeks had been rough kissing, rough making out, rough sex and rough everything. Then, something as absurd as a bad cold happened to him and how the tables turned. He was ridiculously childish and pissed off about it right up until the moment he discovered being ill was a key to getting extra attention. Then the constant cuddles came along, the forehead kisses, the hot meals and all the spoiling in the world. No sex, just endless caressing while talking about relevant and irrelevant stuff. I discovered Nigel and he discovered that he liked being taken care of as much as taking care of me. That cold changed a lot of things, indeed._

After all the kissing we talked again until I made him understand two things: One; I didn't want him to take advantage of much I loved being with him to do as he pleased and take us for granted. Two; I couldn’t just quit the job and sit at home letting him support me financially. Yes, that was his brilliant idea. I didn’t care he could and was willing to. I was going to work and that was my job until I found something better.

Ever since, he knew well I wanted to earn my own money so he avoided getting me into trouble again and respected the fact that I was working as much as he could. That means when I wasn’t that busy he’d sometimes drag me from behind the bar and take me right to the middle of the dancefloor. He’d say a dance wouldn’t hurt nor get me fired because everyone prefers a happy barmaid over a grumpy one. Although he was an expert in fucking up big time, actually most of times he knew how to make me happy.

* * *

 

Nigel opened the door of his flat three seconds after I rang the doorbell. His hair was parted on the right and combed to his left. Several thin wisps fell over his forehead as the hair on the left side was looser. It hadn’t been a day off for him but it was a night off for me.  
I felt lucky thinking about his job. At best, he’d have a photoshoot and be back in maybe four hours. At worst, he’d be away for a few days. Nonetheless, most of his shoots had had him working so close that he didn’t have to stay away for more than a day. Still, if he could, he’d make his way back to town during the night and wake me up knocking on my door early on the next morning. I didn’t mind being woken up at five or six -not that long after I had arrived home from work- if that meant I’d sleep in Nigel’s arms for another bunch of hours.  
He was crazy so the first time he did this, he tried to convince me to stay awake and make up for the lost time. I had refused to make him coffee or take off my PJs. Instead, I had tucked him into bed with me and ever since he’d come back just craving my mattress and my body right beside his. I didn’t do anything during the day, except for better-job hunting so we’d lie down together and sleep a while longer.

Back to the present, as soon as he saw me he closed his eyes and let out a sigh charged with relief. Maybe also a nuance of anger that I only confirmed once he spoke.

"Why the fuck you didn't answer your fucking phone, Jodie?"

"I'm happy to see you too, Nigel."

"I called you." He closed his mouth rabidly.

"I know you did. You've called five times." I placed one hand over the other, wondering for how long he'd have me standing there.

"You had the time to fucking count them but didn't have the time to fucking answer? Is it that, Jodie?"

"I was trying to surprise you by dropping by unannounced but it's almost impossible when you're being so damn controlling." I explained holding my shoulders high. "I told you not to do it."

"You said you would ring me. It's almost 8 pm."

"Yes, which means you were meant to wait."

"But you didn't fucking call."

"For Christ's sake, Nigel, I didn't say when!"

Nigel groaned, realizing he had no way of winning that argument.

"Are you going to let me in?" I asked.

"I'm actually considering fucking you on this very doormat."

I rolled my eyes and turned around to leave -well, not really- when he clutched my arm to stop me. His arms hugged me from behind as he sank his nose in my hair.

"I was worried something had happened to my darling." He muttered before pressing his cheek against mine.

"Just... Don't worry like this. It's uhm... ugly. It makes you look like a jerk rather than worried." I blinked twice and sighed my slight annoyance away.

"You wanted to surprise me and I fucked up again." He inferred. "I could make use of my brand new apologizing skills."

The tone of his voice gave away that he was smiling and so did I, which didn't change the nature of my answer.

"People grow tired of hearing apologies, Nigel."

"Then I fucking learned to apologize for nothing." He chuckled and kissed the sensitive skin behind my ear which derived on a trail of kisses all the way down.

"Just try to avoid doing what you'll have to apologize for afterwards." I said in a lighthearted tone. I wasn't mad at him but this did matter.

"You know I'm one hotheaded bastard, gorgeous. Always been, always will be. I can try being better but I can't be perfect for you."

His straightforwardness was more appreciated than a thousand sorries, indeed.

"I don't expect you to." I caressed the outer part of his forearm until all tension faded out.

 

He let me in and despite his words, he felt like making up so he asked if I wanted to go to the movies.

"There's nothing worth watching."

"We don't have to look at the screen." He smirked.

"Let me rephrase that: It's not worth paying." I let myself fall on the sofa and slipped my shoes off, what gave him a hint.

"Maybe we shouldn't go out at all." He panted once after sitting beside me, as if he was weary. "We can stay home and try to cook something without burning the fucking kitchen and then... watch a movie?" He suggested.

"You're insisting on the movie thing. Netflix and chill, isn't it?" I snorted.

"What's Netflix?"

We stared at each other shortly before I bursted out laughing, so much that my shoulders were shaking.

"I'm so sorry... Sometimes I forget that I'm with a 43 year-old."

He changed his dumbfounded expression to a slightly funny one, then scoffed.

"And do those moments meet with the times I fuck you like no one has ever fucked you before?" He licked his lips and pinched my chin while drawing a triangle with both my eyes and my mouth. "Do they, gorgeous?"

 _Oh, don't..._ I thought. It was that easy. Nigel, even the mere thought of him, was enticing like nothing else.

"Sometimes." I admitted, without losing my grin.

"So fucking sometimes." He raised his eyebrows and nodded, arching his lips with lack of enthusiasm until he heard me giggle and thought maybe I was doing it on purpose. "When fucking else do you forget my age, then?" He wanted to know and looked quite amused now.

"Pretty much all the time, I guess. You go around acting like you're some kind of cool dad, dressing like a rock star… but real talk? You’re just lucky. Lucky that despite your age and that awful tattoo on your neck you’re the most beautiful man most girls have ever seen.”

“Despite my age.” He repeated after a second. “Fucking  _despite_ , princess? I never noticed our fucking age difference bothered you. It's not like I could be your fucking father, Jodie, I would have had to start  _really_  early.”

“You didn't because it doesn't bother me. But theorically, you could be.”

No, it wasn't a huge difference, I just wanted to tease him, for the fun of it.

“So could anyone 12 years older than you, for that fucking matter.”

I heard his breath, like a sigh restrained behind his lips. He'd sometimes do it when he was settling for something or just avoiding feeling irritated.

“Well, you’re more than 12 years older than me.” I scoffed and so did he.

Me annoying Nigel once was more or less safe but to keep slagging him only for the sake of it was playing with fire. He could go from tolerating it to being hopping mad in less than a minute.

“What is this, princess?" He looked down to my mouth and then my eyes again, with his own lips parted. I couldn't tell yet if he was getting genuinely angry or violently aroused. Maybe both. "You’re having your fun being fucking bold again, hu? Is it funny to taunt the shit out of me, Jodie? Let's both have fun." He smirked and the irony was all over his expression. He laughed under his breathe, wetted his tongue again and rested his forehead against my temple, eyes closed. His deep and accented voice resonated inside my head and made my heart race. "You know what this seems to me? It seems that you came over just to get your ass fucking spanked. Cause you’re asking for it as though you fucking got a taste for it but don’t know how to ask properly.”

He drew away a little to study my reaction or maybe just to tease the skin of my neck with the tip of his tongue. Before I had the chance of expressing anything Nigel was done and leaned back again on the sofa. He patted his legs.

"Come here, gorgeous. Don't be shy and bend over my lap. I'm going to give you want you seem to want so much. Let's see how you like this, shall we?" He sounded calm yet commanding.

"No." I challenged. Nigel knew what that was. He could tell the difference between a dead serious  _no_  and the one I had just pronounced, which was negotiable.

"No? Princess... I was going to spank you twice. You just added another two cause you seem to fucking enjoy misbehaving way too fucking much." He tilted his head and smiled at me. "Keep back-talking, darling and I'll be spanking until you can't fucking sit."

I gulped and sucked my bottom lip inside my mouth. I was indeed terribly shy when it came to that but I certainly wanted to do as Nigel was telling me to. He waited patiently until I gave in. I closed my eyes, trying my best not to judge myself for enjoying the games he had gotten me into. Tough hands lifted my dress to my waist and I became slightly taut when he went further and slowly pulled down my underwear. My breath was hitching at the feeling of his hand running over my cheeks. A sensation of heat spread over my face and where else not. But... Didn't I like the feeling? The warmth of Nigel’s touch, the familiar cussing that came along cause there was no way he could help himself. Didn't I like Nigel doing those -previously unthinkable- things to me? Hell if I didn't love feeling vulnerable in his hands, feeling _his_.

The first swat made me flinch and curl my fingers in fists. I bit my lip in an attempt to stop myself from gasping. I could stop the gasps but I couldn't control my whimpering. It's difficult to tell how I felt about it. It could have been embarrassing to some extent -if you thought too deeply about it- but it wasn’t about thinking, it was about feeling. There was a predisposition in me to overstep with Nigel all bounds I had imposed on myself before. An inclination that had gained ground every day. I wasn't embarrassed about it or about wanting Nigel in every possible way I could have him. Or every way he could have _me_ , for that matter. I wasn't into getting marked or BDSM. I liked the act as a thrill and due to the way I understood it in that very context. A playful gesture of primal desire oozing from my partner. I found pleasure in feeling desired by Nigel as well as in satisfying him in every way I could. Moreover, his willingness to express dominance in a sexual way was beyond enticing.

A second slap didn’t tell me any different. It came along a bit too harsh but it didn’t cause me a greater amount of pain than of delight.

“Oh, fuck...” I stammered throwing my head back, unburying my face to draw a breath.

Almost gently but not very, Nigel took a fistful of my hair and pulled it to fully bend my neck backwards. He bucked his head to speak in my ear.

“I thought I had told you you’re not fucking allowed to cuss when you’re almost naked.” He gripped my hair a bit tighter, breathed down my jaw and neck. It conveyed me the smell of cigarettes that I had associated with him, mixed with his personal aroma. “Am I not fucking clear, gorgeous? Well, I’ll fucking make you understand.”

What I finally understood was the reason why he didn’t want to hear me swear. Cause bad words replaced moans and that was what stirred him the most: The noise that came from deep within my chest when he provided me a third spank, so hard that my back arched and my limbs trembled. Even in that moment when I shuddered, my hair remained tied to his fingers. Even when I lost myself he had me. I lastly bit my lip and smiled. Feeling his hardness against my groin didn’t let me be reluctant about there being such rules anymore.

"Are you counting now, princess? You should know there's one left."

I nodded as much as his grasp would let me, letting on I knew.

"Does it feel good?"

I nodded again, feeling his other hand grab me gently where he had whipped me. His touch made me realize how numb I felt there. I still didn’t mind.

"Look at yourself, Jodie." He chuckled and finally let go of my hair. "Your legs are fucking shaking just with three spanks." His fingers skimmed down to the back of my thighs and then up again. "I think I can stop there.” Nigel teased me by dragging his index finger on me to draw a straight line all the way down from the end of my back. “Unless you want me to give you the one that's left."

It took me shorter than I thought it would –just after I swallowed down- before I muttered a _yes_.

"What did you say?” I couldn’t see him but I felt his torso press my back. His hot breath was now over my nape, raising goosebumps on my skin. Just because he could. “Daddy didn't hear you well enough. Say it again, gorgeous. Say it fucking louder."

I shook my head, instinctively bringing back the tug-of-war dynamic between us.

"No? Are you sure? I suggest you say it louder. Otherwise I won't fucking touch you for the rest of the fucking night." He made a pause for me to consider my choices as he leaned back again. I wanted him back. The closer the better. "Do you like when daddy spanks you?" He rubbed his palm open wide on me and suddenly it wasn’t numb. It only felt good. Way _too_ good.

"Yes." I said loud and clear this time.

"Good girl." It felt as if I could  _hear_  the smile I loved so much spreading across his lips. "You please me, you get me to please you."

Without wasting a second, he added the last spank to that, stronger than any of the previous ones. I blocked a moan against the surface of the sofa and then panted as a way to gradually recompose myself from the experience. Nigel put my clothes back in place and eventually, turned me around. He scoffed right after seeing my face, fingers caressing my wet lips.

"You’re so fucking beautiful, princess. God fucking dammit.” He watched me with utter fondness and the hint of a grin more present in the corner of his eyes than his mouth. “You know, gorgeous? You're going to drive me fucking insane one of these days."

"Because others didn't let you do this?" I asked without stopping to think or use any filter. It wasn't intended for me to sound conceited. Like Nigel, I simply had the habit of asking questions bluntly. We could do that with each other.

He slipped his hand between my weak legs and proceeded upwards, as far as he could. His fingers sank in my skin for brief seconds before he relaxed them to caress me all the way down again, to my very ankle.

"I don’t do this _to_ you. I do it _with_ you. Correct me if I’m wrong, darling. You know I have a shit tolerance for being wrong.”

“You aren’t.” I didn’t bother decorating my answer.

Suddenly, I felt the impulse of snuggling up against him and listen, rather than talk.

 “No, it’s not because of what we just did." He returned to my question then and tilted his head to get a better perspective of my eyes. His grin became apparent subsequently and his hand moved to sweep my hair back. "That makes me horny, not insane."

I imitated the foregoing touch of his fingers on my lips, mines hovering over his now, grazed by tiny kisses. That right there was indeed roughness deriving into a romantic moment.  _Right after spanking me_ and apparently –and following any existing logic- it had nothing to do. The lack of continuousness in Nigel's moods made me laugh on the inside but I decided not to ruin the moment by mocking him for it. Things come when they come, don’t they? I moved my hand to cup his face -his handsome sharp-featured face- as I gave my eyes a run across it.

"I missed you today." Nigel said, then turned his head to kiss my palm. "Like fucking crazy." He muttered against it.

"Why? I did miss you too."

Probably no one in their right mind would ask why but I truly wanted to know what _exactly_ made Nigel miss me. For a while, I got nothing back from him besides a chuckle. He seemed pleased to hear me say the same. Maybe even relieved.

"For all sorts of reasons, beautiful."

We stared at each other in a complete silence that was nevertheless far from being empty. It was filled with the words we hadn't ever said aloud. I couldn't hear it but I believed Nigel's amber eyes were telling me something I wished came from his very lips. Was it real or just what I wanted to feel?

"I miss you when I wake up and you're not there.” He began. “When I get up and you're not in the kitchen and the house is quiet cause you're not taking a shower either. You'd say I'm used to being on my own and being alone in this fucking house after all these years but now it fucking feels empty when you're not around. Sometimes I feel like I can hear that fucking emptiness resonating in the fucking walls."

"Like echo?"

"Like fucking echo."

"And does that echo ever speak to you?"

"Always."

I blinked repeatedly at the unexpected answer, growing curious.

"What does it say?"

"It only talks shit, princess. Why do you want to know?"

“Because… I’m interested in the things that concern you. I worry too.”

I puckered my brows at him, quietly asking for further details. He sighed heavily but decided he hadn’t gotten there only to stop then.  
He let his eyes wander across the ceiling, avoiding any contact with mine and maybe that helped him speak out.

"It feeds my fucking insecurities. It tells me that I'm a fool, that maybe you’ll find someone better. So I get out and find you so I don't have to listen and I spend as much time around you as I can so that won't fucking happen. That’s why every time someone comes near you I have to fight the urge of beating the fuck out of him. If I don’t fight the urge but whatever fucker is this time, or I get too jealous, then I show you the worst in me,” He brought his eyes down again to meet with my gaze, quickly shifting from his tattoo. “just to make sure you won’t get to see the best in others. And you’d say _what a fucking genius you are, Nigel._ " He grinned, presuming I’d agree with him on that.

Maybe he wasn’t genius but Nigel did follow a logic, even if it was one of his exclusive own, there was one. I wanted to know how the gears and mechanics of his mind worked, no matter how differently from mine, was that the case. I needed to know because something was happening that I couldn’t yet fully identify. Insecurities, yes, but I wanted it to be more precise. _This exactly is what I fear, this is what hurts me_ is what I needed to hear.  
In a matter of minutes, he had gone from spanking my butt to talking about emptiness swallowing him whole at his own home when he was alone. Something more urgent than the need to satisfy his further sexual drives was begging to be addressed. Nigel wouldn’t tell me directly so I had to push for it to come out until I could finally put my finger on it.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Why the fuck I’m telling you this? I share my fucking feelings with you, shit I don’t do with any-fucking-body else I know and you ask why? Honestly, fucking _why_?” His eyes seemed to turn darker, getting the wrong idea about my question.

"Can’t you breathe in for some seconds before you lash out?” I did for him and he looked away once more. I could feel his leg shaking under my back with nervousness. “Don't get mad and think about what I just asked you. If I didn’t want to listen to this, I wouldn’t make questions. It was a well-intentioned one." I explained since he didn’t seem to know how that worked.

Sometimes it was difficult, very difficult dealing with Nigel. Nigel himself was too complex but never unworthy of all my patience and anything else I could give him. Some say _better the devil that you know that the one you don’t_ but evil is not what he was. Not to me and everyone else I found to pale beside him. Matchless is what he was, but we have learned to attune to each other. The good and the bad, the best and the worst, even though there could only be still so much to come.

“I tell you this because I want you to understand why I do the fucked up things I do sometimes. Some things that I can’t change right now and God knows if I ever fucking will cause I believe in the bullshit I hear in my fucking head.”

“The echo.” I asked at the same time that I was affirming. “You’re scared of losing me? That I will get tired of some of the things you do and… find myself someone who, let’s say, doesn’t behave like you do sometimes?”

Instead of answering me, Nigel stretched to pull out a cigarette from its packet on the coffee table in front of us. The lighter failed at first, causing a groan to come out through his lips snaring the filter. He puffed on it until it hissed and then looked down at me, twisting his mouth so he wouldn’t sigh the smoke out in my face.

“Where do I fucking sign so that won’t happen?”

I shook my head to let him know there wasn’t such a deal and that made him throw his head back to smoke some more. He was merely trying to preserve his calm, watching the wisps of smoke rise to the air and expand until he couldn’t see them anymore.

“There’s nowhere you can sign for that but…”

“But fucking what?” He bucked his head to speak even before blowing out the smoke so it slipped as he opened his mouth.

I closed my eyes at the inconvenience of it landing on my face by fate and Nigel pressed his lips to disguise a smirk.

“They say if you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”

“That probably explains the obnoxious way I deal with shit.” He scoffed and licked his lips. “What are you trying to tell me, gorgeous?”

I thought I’d run out of air before I could put those words together for him, but I didn’t want to rush them either. I gulped.

“What I’m trying to tell you is…”

I had been afraid of this happening, of what his reaction would be if I told him whenever it happened. Cause I knew, since we first kissed, that it would definitely happen. I had dreaded what if he didn’t want to hear it. When I first met Nigel I had expected him to be a heartless bastard and told myself that _maybe_ he wasn’t. Around five months later I knew he was anything but that. He had feelings and so did I so it was self-defeating to keep them from him. Least of all in that very moment when hearing them could actually help somehow.

“I love you, Nigel.” I gathered up. His eyes widened as though he couldn’t believe what he just heard. I held my breath again and then reminded myself I had to go on. “And if I know you love me back, then everything that happens between us we can deal with. But if it’s not mutual it’s not worth the drama, remember?”

I couldn’t know if he did, since he wouldn’t speak at all. For interminable seconds he even neglected his cigarette, held up in his hand, spread on top of the headrest.

“What did you say?”

“I said a lot of things.”

“No, you know the fucking one I want to hear again.”

I pulled myself up to incorporate, resting a leg on each side of his. My hands run up his chest to his shoulders and I pressed my forehead against his. His gaze was locked on me, whereas my eyes flickered when I tried to look at him so I just closed them.

“I…”

“Not like that. Look at me.”

A shaky breath became a chuckle and I pulled away a few inches to do as he asked me. It was precisely the way he had asked for it that made me realize how much he had wanted to hear it. I didn’t know until then that it was important, _that_ important. I tried to live up to his needs and stop acting shy over something I had already said. Instead, I managed to finally look into his eyes and I did it as if there was nothing else in the entire world for me to stare at. I just had my world before my eyes and that was the same way Nigel was looking back at me.

“I love you.”

A smile started to peek out on his lips. I got rid of the cigarette and when I turned around again his big hands snared my face. His nuzzling against my cheek lasted for a warm second before his lips met mine, wet and soft.

“Tell me again.” He whispered, I can’t tell whether demanding or actually begging.

I punched him softly with a loose fist on his chest and we both laughed –just as softly- in each other’s ear.

“Come on, don’t tell me you had no idea. You had to know…”

“How could I?”

His mouth stumbled upon my collarbones. A hum escaped his lips as he parted them to kiss and suck a little on them. I embraced him pressing one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his nape.

“Experience maybe?” I shivered when I got a snort in response over the area his tongue had touched.

I tightened my clasp, getting Nigel to run his hands keenly through my back.

“Never in my entire fucking life I’ve had someone tell me.”

Those words shocked me. It felt bad and I felt that wrongness within myself. I stood still, trying to fathom how that might had been like for him.

“Never in 43 years?”

“Not once. Not that I can remember. My family wasn’t one of those either and I didn’t stay around them for long. You’re the first and you’ll probably be the last as well.” He left a sonorous kiss on the V-shaped dimple at the end of my throat before watching me for long enough to figure out what I was likely thinking. “What is that face, gorgeous? Don’t fucking pity me, princess. Nor feel like you have to compensate now for what others haven’t done in that fucking long. I got what I brought on myself. I never needed it until now. I never really loved anyone to that point but that’s…” He hummed again. “That’s changing now. Don’t feel like you have to fix me. I’m fine. I don’t want that burden on your beautiful tiny shoulders. I’m not your burden, yes?”

I got lost in the amber eyes, going from one to the other over and over until I could gather some words.

“It’s changing.”

He nodded and skimmed my jawline with the back of his fingers.

“It is fucking mutual, Jodie, if that’s what you’re asking. And it’s beyond fucking worthy. The most worthy I’ve known.”

“So… You love me? Even if... Even if it’s soon.” I pressured, knowing maybe I shouldn’t as he was telling me in his own evasive way.

Nigel drew a deep breath, simmering down after the ride on his personal roller-coaster of emotions.

“I do, angel. Of course I do. I’m really into what we fucking have. Don’t you doubt that for a second.” He tilted his head and puckered his lips a bit as he come up with further considerations. “I’m still learning how to do it well, though. You just have to give me your time, I’ll do the rest.” He reassured me with a warm smile. “Come here.” He muttered taking me into his strong arms to pull me against his chest. I rested my forehead against the side of his neck and closed my eyes.

“I have forever, if that’s enough.” I said lightheartedly.

“That should fucking do.” He chuckled with me. “I’ll do whatever is in my fucking hands to make you happy, princess. I swear to all the fucking Gods hearing us that I will and I’ll move a fucking mountain if I have to for you. You just fucking ask and I’ll make it happen. Anything for you.”

No trace of doubt that it was worthy and that, came what may, we’d deal with it. It may have started as a game -out of lust- but none of us was playing anymore. I fell for him as hard as I had predicted but he had fallen for me just as hard and there we were, confessing it to each other. Pleading to hear it clearer, hearts softened by the metaphysical notions of love and reciprocity. Bringing the two of us together, as close as we could be, and baring us of everything but ourselves.  
Not much later on Nigel carried me to his room saying he wanted it to be _our_ room. He asked me to move in with him in the middle of a kissing so suffocating that made me almost dizzy. Dizzy or not, bare bodies blending into one or not touching at all, my answer wouldn’t have changed. A thousand _yes_. I knew what I wanted and I wanted him for as long as it was earthly possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much to everyone who read it and encouraged me to keep writing. Your interest in this story -or anything I write, for that matter- means a lot to me.  
> You probably noticed the staggering amount of fluff and how much I've come to soften Nigel's personality. I think there's a lot we don't know about him and thanks to that, everything should be possible. This is my (DESIGN) choice for Nigel and I hope I've given him what I felt this version of the character deserved.


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